I’ve been reminded recently of the struggle my brother had with liver disease. He was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver when he was 17 years old, a genetic defect. He went to be with the Lord 2 years ago last Thursday.
As a young boy I grew up in a very faith-oriented church. There was a sense that sickness and disease should not be tolerated and that it was either a result of sin in one’s life or a test. As I watched my brother go through two liver transplants, years of recovery, way too many medications I often wondered if it was sin or a test.
But I was reminded recently that often this is the wrong question. It’s not for us to determine the why of something, but to figure out how to patiently endure. In the end does it really matter why?
We can spend hours contemplating and agonizing over why bad things happen to good people, but I’ve determined that those same hours are better spent enjoying the present and daily learning what it is to patiently endure. I don’t want to succumb to a fatalistic attitude, what will be will be. I want to contend for the best for me and my family and at the same time live a patient life not trying to find the meaning behind everything.
Here is a prayer I prayed this morning:
Jesus, your word says you will not test us more than we are able to be bear. That gives me hope. I can rest in the reality of your faithfulness. And in those times I don’t understand I choose to endure patiently, waiting for my deliverer to intercede. Thank you that you care for me, that you love me unconditionally. I trust you.